Posts

Preparing a lesson for adolescents about Boundaries

  Change starts with a question  that opens up a space for an answer to come The way to change is always from within, we can never make others change. The only way is when they come to us with a question. A question is much like a prayer, it opens up a container in you with a space where you are ready to receive the answer. In inspiring others to ask, you plant in them the first step to change. You cannot teach something to someone who does not have an open container as a question to receive your answer. A good teacher succeeds in inspiring curiosity so the student starts asking questions. So how do you teach adolescents about life? I received an opportunity to teach a class of young ladies 14-17 years old. I was pondering on the question of what knowledge I could share that would best impact those young women. Where is the beginning? Where do I start? When I think of myself at that age, what is the one thing if I would have been tought that would have saved me from dark exper...

Our mind's defense Walls, abusers effect on them, creativity blocks

  Defence mechanisms and inner blocks: Our mind is like a huge field of grass, separated and divided into small pastures by barbed wire and posts, some are loose so they can be easily crossed, and some are wired in multiple layers of wire, some even have stone walls around them. The wire and walls are where our defence mechanisms are active. They can be inner blocks of beliefs that others have convinced us to adopt. When in a relationship with an abuser we see these wires all over, saying “You can’t go there, can’t look there, can’t think of this, and can’t feel like that”. So we are restrained to one small pasture where it’s relatively safe to exist. That is why free journaling comes in handy, as it is a cross-border association-based activity. I’ll explain: Free journaling, means you write whatever comes to your mind at the moment it hits your thought, even if it means stopping in mid-sentence and following the immediate thought, even if it is nonsense or repeating words, or just...

How to wake up feeling better

  20.6.2021 My Daily Question 1. How to wake up feeling better, with motivation, high energy, and more easily? How to get rid of my morning anxiety? My Daily Attempt To Answer Myself Possible reasons why am I feeling unwell in the morning: 1. Lack of sleep and/or going to sleep late - as after 11pm Things to try out: Setting a fixed time to go to bed - 23:00 is the latest I can stretch. Setting a reasonable time to wake up - 8 hours of sleep is probably the least my body wishes to get to function well. It means waking up at 7:00. Problems: My husband is getting upset if I go to sleep before him, he doesn't have a set routine, although he gets up at 5:00 each day. How to stay asleep without feeling guilty he had less sleep than I had? I usually set my husband's clothes and stuff for the day in the morning. I love waking up early at sunset, but it means to put up with 6 hours' sleep. Solutions to consider: Talk to him about my wish to set fixed bedtimes, explain to him the im...

My passion for Languages

I would like to write about languages. Yesterday I used an expression that I would have liked to correct in the following way. Languages are a passion of mine, or I have passion for languages - would be the right way to say it. Yesterday I was nervous, as at all times when I speak any language other than Hebrew. I always get nervous, even when I speak my mother tongue - Russian. I believe that keeping the language pure and correct, not mixing it with other languages or slang, means respecting the language you choose to use. Clear and clean speaking is a valuable acquired skill. My mother was a book editor and language corrector in Moscow for ten years. As long as I remember she had kept her speaking clear and correct. She used to read a lot to me, in my childhood and youth, and she always kept her diction perfect. Each time she was uncertain of the right pronunciation or meaning of a word, she would open a heavy and old dictionary by Ozhegov, and she would explore it. If there was a mi...

How to Measure your progress when working on Mindset?

 This is a common categorization of aspects of life when you work on self improvement: Health Wealth Relationships Passion Contribution Spirituality Purpose and Mindset When Mindset is the origin and base of all change. Here is a fun quiz to measure your mindset level: QUIZ

10 Pieces of advice to my 16-year-old self

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  How to begin a healthy relationship? 10  Pieces of advice to my 16-year-old self Winning someone's sexual attention is quite easy. But winning someone's attention and unravel his curiosity for your personality is an entirely different thing. We are talking of another realm of emotions and motives for actions. When I was a teenage girl, I thought that winning someone is when you succeed to get him into your bed. What I did not get is that I received something different from what I intended to gain. What actually I was looking for, was someone to make me feel better about myself, feel more attractive, more beautiful, sexier, smarter, more sophisticated. All men will throw all kinds of compliments to have you. What I really wanted was to feel appreciated, not to feel lonely.  For many years I was angry at my mother that did not teach me that basic lesson about sexuality versus love. If I could, I would tell my 16-year-old self this: 1. First, feel good with yourself. You ...

Should I do whatever I want?

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Should I do whatever I want? What is the difference between a craving and a passion? Which of my wishes I should follow and which I should ignore? As a young woman and a teenage girl, I made a lot of mistakes by making decisions based on a faulty premise: "I should do whatever comes to mind". Only at the age of 27 and after a lot of sores I've made my heart, I  understood what I was doing wrong all my life! There are 3 main categories of wishes and desires: 1.  "Wishes from the heart": Your true passions and things that are aligned with your true self. For example: Writing makes me feel good, I wish to be a writer. I really like this guy's personality and I'd like to get to know him better and make some good memories together. I love the beach, and adventures, I wish to save money and travel the world to tropical islands. 2.  "Wishes from the body": Your wishes, momentary egoistic bodily craves, that come and go. For example: I want sugar NOW. ...